the Empathy List #148: Male theology nerd: do we HAVE to debate women's roles at the church picnic?

If so, then choose to listen more than you talk.

Hello friend, Liz here.

You know the moment I mean: a woman is cornered by her pal, the male theology nerd, who wants to “debate.”

The topic is vital to her, the conversation is so important, really truly meaningful, and to her, so much depends upon the answer they reach that even when the timing is bad, she makes the effort. And yet her combatant is just engaging in the sport of debate. He’s brought this up for fun, not to listen, not to learn, but to talk. To her, the topic is central to faith, but to him, it’s nonessential.

Perhaps he means no harm. Or perhaps he’s hankering to win, to crush, to spike the ball with such ferocity that she cannot hope to stay airborne.

If you’ve spent any time in conservative church spaces, I bet you recognize this dynamic. And if you’re a strong women with a loud laugh and a body, any body, well then, you have probably experienced this moment for yourself.

“I want to ask you about that one obscure verse that demeans your personhood. How can you defe…