the Empathy List #137: A Debut Author's Publishing Story, Part 5
What does it feel like to be a brand new baby book *author (*whose indie book has not made any bestseller lists)?
Hello friend, Liz here.
I know I said I was finished talking about publishing A BOOK and being AN AUTHOR. But I’ve found that my friends are asking me the same question over and over, which made me realize that you, too, might be wondering this exact same thing. I always wonder the same. So, today, I will take you to one more stop on this journey toward author-hood to answer the question…
What does it feel like?
When my friends ask this, they mean, what does it feel like to spend years working on something in private and then to release it into the wide world?
And also, what does it feel like to finally accomplish a lifelong dream?
And also, how is the book launch going?? Are you sick of talking about it yet? Has the reception been positive? Do people like it? Are they buying it? Is it a bestseller yet? (haha that last is an easy one—no, my book is not a bestseller on any list.)
TLDR; I feel everything, especially pride, astonishment, gratitude, and relief. 10/10, Highly Recommend, Would do it all over again.
But first, a brief recap of where we’ve been—
In part 1 of this special publishing series, I described the origins of my desire to become a writer, a manuscript of short stories I wrote and that the indie presses of the day roundly rejected (40 indie presses rejected my first book! Four-Zero!), and the encouragement that kept me from quitting.
In part 2, I described the paradox of a burgeoning career and the shattering reality of needing to work my butt off in lieu of “getting discovered” (rude).
In part 3, I told you the sad story of my dead-on-arrival memoir, we discussed the importance of both individual perseverance in the writing life AND the way my author friends got me through my deep disappointment.
And in part 4, I celebrated the release of my first-ever published book and told the story of how it came to exist (cue the happy tears).
And today, in part 5, I’ll answer this age-old question from every angle: what does it feel like?
What does it feel like to release your private art into the wide world?
I’m quite used to publishing my thoughts online and in print. So for me, this side of the process is not so bad. Part of that is my temperament—I’m unafraid of getting something wrong and having to correct myself (or be corrected), and I’m already convinced that I’ll change my mind in public a few more times before I adopt any idea firmly. Actually, I’m more scared of settling into a rut than I am of changing my mind.
I also relish the chance to interchange with readers. (I am not the final word on anything, especially on God.) And seeing as I’ve been soaking in these ideas for 3+ years, I’m delighted to converse with real people. Going public feels like a relief.
That said, seeing my words in a book in your hands is surreal, as it’s a more permanent and serious object than a newspaper or magazine or any online platform where I’d normally publish. Which takes us to this question:
What does it feel like to finally accomplish a lifelong dream?
If you were to Google this question, you would find a collection of essays bemoaning the accomplishment of lifelong dreams, especially amongst writers (who understand that envy can be life-threatening).
But I am not them.
I did not expect my book to be an instant bestseller (HA HA HA) or a bestseller of any variety. I did not expect to be reviewed by the LA or NY Times (though we did ask! Cause it doesn’t hurt to ask!) I did not expect to quit a day job because of the writing money that would flow in because now I could call myself a book author. I did not expect anyone to care, particularly, that I had released a book, and in fact, I told friends that I did not/do not expect them to read it (…though I did tell friends I expected them to buy a copy that they could use as a pretty coffee table coaster, if nothing else). I did not expect this book to change either me or my life by 180 degrees. Books cannot do any of that, really.
Instead, I focused my expectation on what I can control: myself. I can be my toughest literary critic and I can be a b-tchy boss in my mini-one-person marketing firm. I am scrappy, ambitious, and willing to spend hours typing up queries to people who may not even read the email over which I’ve labored. But I’ve learned to reframe my successes around what I can personally accomplish. I can control only me, my reaction, my work hour and ethic, my craft. I can release outcomes because they are not the point, not really.
By those measures, I feel damn proud of myself. I wrote 13 drafts of this book, and my publishing team worked hard to keep the errors away, and the designers and artists involved created a beautiful product that feels nice in your hands, that appeals when you flip through the pages, and that draws you into the words. I hold this book in my hands and I feel so proud.
I also feel proud of the work I put into the marketing, which so far has been waaaay more successful than I or my publishing team thought it would be! (More on that later) That’s a surprise.
And last, I feel relief that I finally have this calling card that makes me an official member of the literati. ;-) I joke, but I did experience exclusion without a book. When I had no book to recommend me, podcasters were less likely to book me as a guest, readers were less likely to subscribe to my newsletter/social media accounts, and conference hosts did not consider me as a speaker. I found that overall, my writing seemed less serious to traditional “gatekeepers,” and that flashing my calling card has opened doors that had remained bolted for years. (I imagine some of you who are writers without books have experienced this and I GET IT! IT’S SO INFURIATING!)
So, how do I feel to have accomplished a lifelong dream?
I’m going to be honest and tell you I feel pretty f-cking amazing, proud, astonished, and grateful. Every few hours, my eyes go misty just thinking about the gift of this season, a season in which I get to see a lifelong dream fulfilled. Not everybody receives such a gift, and I have, so I have determined to savor it.
Last question: how is book launch going?
[AKA: Has the reception been positive? Do readers and reviewers like it? Are they buying it? Is it a bestseller yet? (haha that last is an easy one—no, my book is not a bestseller.) Are you sick of talking about your book yet?]
Welp, some answers I have, some I don’t. Let’s start with the numbers first.
Book Sales: I checked in on day 1 of launch and at that time, my publisher had sold [retracted]1 print copies of the book and an unknown amount of audio and e-book varieties (Amazon does not provide audio/e-book numbers for a month or so?). Anyway, I currently have an inexact total. So, let’s just say I’ve sold hundreds of books, but not thousands. As my marketing folks likely expected me to sell about 2,000 copies total over the lifetime of this very niche weirdo indie/arty theopoetical book, I’ve blown expectations out of the water. (And I’ve likely earned back my advance.) But no, my book Knock at the Sky is not a bestseller, and I’m okay with that. 😜
Reception: Since the book’s release, I have been astonished by an enthusiastic reception to this book! I’m encouraged!
Reviewers, fellow authors, theologian colleagues, and readers have enjoyed what they’ve read.2 The Englewood Review of Books even named it their starred new book of the week! My book has been excerpted in a couple publications I admire (I’ll be sharing those in the next couple of weeks), and I’ve been interviewed by one of my favorite publications.
I’ve also had the chance to talk to many many many podcasters over the past few months about a variety of themes, but mainly around the topics of faith deconstruction, returning to the Bible after spiritual abuse/harm, and the fallacy of biblical inerrancy. You can take your pick of conversations at this nifty spotify playlist I made of myself gabbing. (I’ll keep adding as episodes drop.)
But what matters far more than any famous people or colleagues reading and sharing my words is when you share with your real life people. As an author there’s no greater compliment than hearing that you’ve loaned a book to a friend, or that you’ve told a colleague they’d like this book, or that you’ve texted a family member with a link to buy it, or that you’ve ordered a copy for your library because they must stock this book ASAP.
Thank you. I feel honored to be your guide through the strange, murky lands of Genesis.
For the record, I’m not sick of Genesis, nor am I sick of talking about my book. But that doesn’t mean I’m not daydreaming about my next project… which will likely be related to the Hebrew prophets because both the prophetic characters and messages feel more relevant than ever. (TBD.)
Anyway, all I know is that this unexpected, miraculous journey of writing and selling and reading books has not yet ended for me, and for that, I remain deeply humbled and grateful.
How is this my life? This is my life. Praise God.
You’ve reached the (real) end of my special publishing series. ;-) I hope it encouraged you!! My book, Knock at the Sky, is an personal interdisciplinary meditation on the ancient book of Genesis. AND YOU CAN BUY IT RIGHT NOW!!
Warmly, Liz Charlotte Grant
For those who have already bought the book… can I ask you for a favor?Would you write me a review?
Thanks for supporting this newbie indie artist!! Now, please write a review. You know as well as I do that book reviews sell books. So, go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, your local book seller’s website, Bookshop, Goodreads, etc., and scribble down your thoughts, especially if your thoughts ranged toward 5 gold stars... ;-)
Before publishing this essay, I asked an author friend if I should tell you all the exact print number of books sold on day 1, and she told me nope, keep those numbers to yourself and your pub team. So, I’m trying out discretion. Hahaha
Published Reviews so far: Publisher’s Weekly, Foreword, Baptist News Global.
Substack recommendations or reviews: Sarah Bessey's Field Notes, Byrd in Your Box,
, , , , , , and . And more to come. ;-)
It's been fun to hear the story behind your book emerging into the world, and I'm so glad for all the good feels! Congrats!!
I love this peek into all the Big Feels! And I have greatly enjoyed reading this whole series. Your book reflects all the countless hours you spent honing your craft, digging into research, and all the time you spent editing and revising! WELL DONE, LIZ!!!!