I don't feel like I'm deconstructing, but I *am* in the middle of processing through how living out my faith will look different from how I was raised. Most of my close friends have kids who are older than mine are. They also all seem like they're doing a great job at the parenting thing, thankfully, so I've been quietly observing and asking questions about how they're navigating faith, church involvement, and youth group. I also follow blogs like this one for additional "quiet observation." ;) So grateful for you sharing this post. It's so, so good. And needed.
I grew up as a mainline denom kid and made one of my best friends in Catechism preparing for confirmation, where we were the only 2 students (for the precise reasons you outlined already.) The critical pieces of my growing faith were a pastor who spent time in faithfully and kindly teaching us Luther's small catechism, a mom who discipled me through allowing both wonder and critical thinking (and teaching me to challenge some of the concepts I brought home from evangelical friends) and my parents' own steadfast faith & participation in the church we were part of. And, the Holy Spirit's abiding presence. Today, I have far less to deconstruct but more acceptance of wise, thoughtful and faithful deconstruction. My friends weren't church kids. And, I still really love Jesus. There is a place for kids in the mainline church, but it needs to be faithful & intentional.
My youth group experience was mixed. As a homeschooler I definitely didn’t fit in because of all the “change the world for Jesus” messaging I got from the more fundamentalist influences in my childhood. I was so serious and skeptical. I would have stood sullenly in the back of the room during that cheerios game.
I am so thankful for my youth pastor, though, who invited me and the few other homeschooled kids to form a “student leadership committee.” We met weekly and planned youth activities and events, but really it was just a way to disciple us and introduce us to a God who loved us for us, not for what big things we might do for Him.
I appreciate your unapologetic appreciation of your youth group experience! I probably had somewhat of a similar youth group, but probably more conservative, but still from a well-off background — had a lot of kids there from highlands ranch, if that gives you an idea! — but as a shy awkward introvert, I never felt like I fit in. Didn’t love it. But survived it.
To be honest I’m slightly terrified, especially of we stay in this tiny Ohio town, that one day one of my kids will ask if they can go to youth group with a friend. *shudders* I’m afraid of how they might be indoctrinated and worry that they’ll want to go the opposite of how mom and dad believe. I can just hope that we set a solid enough foundation! (Also, their dad is a pastor but in one of those mainline churches that have just a handful of kids…)
I don't feel like I'm deconstructing, but I *am* in the middle of processing through how living out my faith will look different from how I was raised. Most of my close friends have kids who are older than mine are. They also all seem like they're doing a great job at the parenting thing, thankfully, so I've been quietly observing and asking questions about how they're navigating faith, church involvement, and youth group. I also follow blogs like this one for additional "quiet observation." ;) So grateful for you sharing this post. It's so, so good. And needed.
I grew up as a mainline denom kid and made one of my best friends in Catechism preparing for confirmation, where we were the only 2 students (for the precise reasons you outlined already.) The critical pieces of my growing faith were a pastor who spent time in faithfully and kindly teaching us Luther's small catechism, a mom who discipled me through allowing both wonder and critical thinking (and teaching me to challenge some of the concepts I brought home from evangelical friends) and my parents' own steadfast faith & participation in the church we were part of. And, the Holy Spirit's abiding presence. Today, I have far less to deconstruct but more acceptance of wise, thoughtful and faithful deconstruction. My friends weren't church kids. And, I still really love Jesus. There is a place for kids in the mainline church, but it needs to be faithful & intentional.
My youth group experience was mixed. As a homeschooler I definitely didn’t fit in because of all the “change the world for Jesus” messaging I got from the more fundamentalist influences in my childhood. I was so serious and skeptical. I would have stood sullenly in the back of the room during that cheerios game.
I am so thankful for my youth pastor, though, who invited me and the few other homeschooled kids to form a “student leadership committee.” We met weekly and planned youth activities and events, but really it was just a way to disciple us and introduce us to a God who loved us for us, not for what big things we might do for Him.
I appreciate your unapologetic appreciation of your youth group experience! I probably had somewhat of a similar youth group, but probably more conservative, but still from a well-off background — had a lot of kids there from highlands ranch, if that gives you an idea! — but as a shy awkward introvert, I never felt like I fit in. Didn’t love it. But survived it.
To be honest I’m slightly terrified, especially of we stay in this tiny Ohio town, that one day one of my kids will ask if they can go to youth group with a friend. *shudders* I’m afraid of how they might be indoctrinated and worry that they’ll want to go the opposite of how mom and dad believe. I can just hope that we set a solid enough foundation! (Also, their dad is a pastor but in one of those mainline churches that have just a handful of kids…)