What boundaries are you setting this holiday season?
Which topics are off-limits? Which activities or relationships are you avoiding because you’ve had trouble in the past with keeping your cool in the moment? What conversations are you having before you get to the family dinner table?
I know these things are hard to talk about, so there is SO MUCH GRACE for you today as you consider what to share and how to share it in the comments. I will block naysayers. This is a safe space, my dears. :)
Here are just a few boundary practices my fam and I have developed over the years. Jeremy and I have chosen to...
-Always make sure my family has a separate car to all events,
-Give myself opportunities to do things I enjoy to recuperate... either alone activities, or activities with just my immediate fam of four or with Jeremy,
-Decide with my husband which topics are "off limits" before any family events,
-Double-check with Jeremy before saying "yes" or "no" to any proposed extended family activities (our presence requires the "yes" of both grownups/partners),
-Stick close to my husband's side amid family get-togethers (he helps remind me of our shared boundaries!),
-A policy of "leave whenever the other requests it, no questions asked,"
-Be honest and as communicative beforehand with family members about what events/activities we can do... and those we cannot do (setting expectations before "the big day" to avoid unnecessary disappointments and/or to allow all involved to process feelings BEFORE "the big day").
QUESTION FOR YA:
What boundaries are you setting this holiday season?
Which topics are off-limits? Which activities or relationships are you avoiding because you’ve had trouble in the past with keeping your cool in the moment? What conversations are you having before you get to the family dinner table?
I know these things are hard to talk about, so there is SO MUCH GRACE for you today as you consider what to share and how to share it in the comments. I will block naysayers. This is a safe space, my dears. :)
Here are just a few boundary practices my fam and I have developed over the years. Jeremy and I have chosen to...
-Always make sure my family has a separate car to all events,
-Give myself opportunities to do things I enjoy to recuperate... either alone activities, or activities with just my immediate fam of four or with Jeremy,
-Decide with my husband which topics are "off limits" before any family events,
-Double-check with Jeremy before saying "yes" or "no" to any proposed extended family activities (our presence requires the "yes" of both grownups/partners),
-Stick close to my husband's side amid family get-togethers (he helps remind me of our shared boundaries!),
-A policy of "leave whenever the other requests it, no questions asked,"
-Be honest and as communicative beforehand with family members about what events/activities we can do... and those we cannot do (setting expectations before "the big day" to avoid unnecessary disappointments and/or to allow all involved to process feelings BEFORE "the big day").