Another 'still practicing, done' here. Thank you for sharing this piece. Finding myself back in the very conservative small town I grew up in (after living in four different countries) where most churches are far from affirming and openly racist, leaves me with little options for finding a community with similar convictions.
I also see myself as not warm, cold or on the fence, faith has always been an integral part of my experience. I experience God in nature so in this in between time I'll go hiking in the mountains on Sundays rather than going to church. I like the idea of being a bridge builder who can relate with both sides.
"Still practicing, done!" That is an accurate description of my own space. I still love Jesus and miss the warm fuzziness I almost always had during worship. I have come to distrust that feeling because of a revelation of manipulated emotions. Don't get me wrong. There are still moments that I connect in corporate worship, too. It is just less "right near the surface, ready to cry at the first stanza" kind of connection. When we have to move and find a new church, the hunt is tricky. I have a wonderful husband who is on the more traditional/conservative side of faith. Finding just the right place is hard. It can be lonely when I am sitting with all the congregants who are "turning to their neighbor" and I don't want to say whatever is being parrotted around the room.
I was bemoaning my sense of being unmoored to a friend who identifies as polyamorous trans. I am not fully comfortable going to a drag show where there might be a lap dance but I also would endorse a drag queen story time at the library. I am not fully "liberal" but I definitely also not stuck in my old B&W world. My friend said that maybe my purpose was not to fit in either camp, but to be a bridge. That gave me so much peace. I can advocate quietly in terms that help to demystify and bring some understanding.
I am hopeful that the growing number of compassionate bridge people will result in less polarization and demonizing of "THOSE PEOPLE " (whichever side is doing the demonizing)
Another 'still practicing, done' here. Thank you for sharing this piece. Finding myself back in the very conservative small town I grew up in (after living in four different countries) where most churches are far from affirming and openly racist, leaves me with little options for finding a community with similar convictions.
I also see myself as not warm, cold or on the fence, faith has always been an integral part of my experience. I experience God in nature so in this in between time I'll go hiking in the mountains on Sundays rather than going to church. I like the idea of being a bridge builder who can relate with both sides.
"Still practicing, done!" That is an accurate description of my own space. I still love Jesus and miss the warm fuzziness I almost always had during worship. I have come to distrust that feeling because of a revelation of manipulated emotions. Don't get me wrong. There are still moments that I connect in corporate worship, too. It is just less "right near the surface, ready to cry at the first stanza" kind of connection. When we have to move and find a new church, the hunt is tricky. I have a wonderful husband who is on the more traditional/conservative side of faith. Finding just the right place is hard. It can be lonely when I am sitting with all the congregants who are "turning to their neighbor" and I don't want to say whatever is being parrotted around the room.
I was bemoaning my sense of being unmoored to a friend who identifies as polyamorous trans. I am not fully comfortable going to a drag show where there might be a lap dance but I also would endorse a drag queen story time at the library. I am not fully "liberal" but I definitely also not stuck in my old B&W world. My friend said that maybe my purpose was not to fit in either camp, but to be a bridge. That gave me so much peace. I can advocate quietly in terms that help to demystify and bring some understanding.
I am hopeful that the growing number of compassionate bridge people will result in less polarization and demonizing of "THOSE PEOPLE " (whichever side is doing the demonizing)