the Empathy List #85: Double the Grief
Robb Elementary and the SBC in the same week? Lord, have mercy.
If you enjoy my email, would you forward it to a friend?
Hello friend, Liz here.
Many of us may find ourselves with very few words this week after the double griefs of an elementary school shooting in Texas and the bombshell of a report from the Southern Baptist convention.
The commitment to money, power, control and selfishness exhibited by leaders at church and in the capitol throughout both crises makes me sick to my stomach and in no way represents the humble and lowly God of the Bible.
For those who want more clarity from me, here are my views on gun control:
The TDLR is that I’m for it, I’m a pacifist, and yes, I know that’s complicated. I have many friends in the military and I love and respect them. But still, I believe the way of Christ is never violence. Those who live by the sword, die by the sword, and those who don’t take up the sword might die, too.
But Christianity means we do not have to fear such a death. Christians are those who pray for their enemies and seek the good of those who hate them. Christ meant us to walk an opposite way, and utilitarianism is not a Christian ideal (it’s a capitalist ideal, but more on that another time...).
Join my Weird Christian Reads book club through a paid subscription to this newsletter. Our first book: Howard Thurman’s Jesus and the Disinherited.
That’s enough from me. What do we DO with all this?
Here’s how you can help Robb Elementary victims and their families.
If you experienced abuse in a Southern Baptist church, Rachael Denhollander, an abuse advocate, is recommending calling this confidential hotline (202-864-5578) for allegations of abuse within the SBC, which it describes as "a resource to survivors and entities in responding properly while we work to put more permanent procedures in place." It’s managed by Guideposts, the same organization who released the report.
If you want to support a ministry working against abuse in church, donate to this organization.
Personally, I experienced the toxic culture of an Acts 29 church and how its structure harmed women. If you wonder how our Christian churches need to change and what makes them rotten, listen to this interview I just gave to the Bodies Behind the Bus podcast.
Last, I want to remind all of us that grief can look a thousand ways.
It can be numbing out or acting out, which I often witness in close range as I study the faces of my own second- and third-grader. Give yourself space for however your own grief emerges; say you’re sorry if/when you overreact or retreat; let yourself receive care from the ones who love you. We all need extra hugs this week.
Thanks for reading. Warmly, Liz Charlotte Grant
QUESTIONS FOR YOU: How have you reacted to the news of this week? What’s the right next step for you and your family?
Curious Reads
#1
Maybe you need this article as much as a kid might: here’s what to say to kids about school shootings to ease their anxiety.
—NPR
#2
On a lighter note, have you noticed that the MULLET is back in? So is every fashion trend from the 2000s. Helloooooo, high school! (Yep, I’m that old and that young.) But what does the mullet mean now?
“Perhaps, the mullet elicited such strong reactions because it refuses to be any one thing, sitting at the midpoint between long and short, masculine and feminine and tasteful and tacky.
#3
Planning your summer family vacay? Visit a “fossil” park and make it a two-for-one—part fun, part trip back in time. ;-)
#4
News flash: French presses make terrible coffee. Do not recommend. (Disagree with me, if you must, but this author’s totally right and France is totally wrong.)
#5
Make it through mid-life without the midlife crisis.
“Whether it becomes a crisis or not, midlife is indeed a difficult time for many. One common reason is what psychologists have called “sandwiching”: As you raise your kids, you are also saddled with the care of aging parents. According to findings from the 1995 National Survey of Families and Households, about 40 percent of people in their early 40s have both parents alive; about 80 percent of people in their late 60s have no parents alive. During the intervening years, adults spend an average of 2.5 hours a day in unpaid care of a family member. The burden of caregiving can be even more overwhelming for those with little time or limited financial resources…”
Just for fun…
Kids knock their parents. (But seriously, these kids should write insults for a living.)
—Read the tweet collection at the Huffington Post